We have been benched again (!) by an ovarian cyst as a result of the stims. This news has formed the third leg in the Trifecta of Bad News these past few weeks. The other two legs of the Trifecta are 1) we had a negative beta last week and 2) this would have been my due week for the baby that I miscarried in April. So, not only do I have no baby, I have no pregnancy and very little chance of getting pregnant this month! Hence, the Trifecta.
I thought at first I was just really sad, but then I realized that I’m also angry that we again had an overresponse that resulted in a cyst. This is the second time in three months that we have been benched and it’s getting a tad tiresome. This assumes that the months that we are doing stims and IUI that our chances are much higher than months where we are on our own. It also assumes that there is no chance that I could get pregnant on one of these benched months. I haven’t found much literature on the effect of cysts in getting pregnant (although I haven’t exactly looked very far).
If this trend continues (and of course, we don’t get pregnant), we will essentially be having only half the chances in a year that we would otherwise. I may be only 31, but time is still not on our side, not to mention that we have been at this for almost two and a half years and have one pregnancy and one miscarriage to show for it. (But, the personal growth and development from all the pain: priceless.)
I’m actually tempted to just go back to Clomid, which Dr. Uterus labeled a ‘nasty little drug’. Nasty it may be, but it also may not have the same overstimulation problem as the Menopur I’ve been using, not to mention that it is infinitely cheaper. Oh, and no poking. Would we still do an IUI with just Clomid? Part of the reason we chose to use the injectibles was that it increased our chances of getting pregnant faster, which has always been my main goal. I wish Dr. Uterus used email so I could just email him my question rather than having to go schedule an appointment, sit with all of the pregnant ladies, and then look at his ads for success (“He made it so easy!”). Wow is that demoralizing.
Sweetie also had the bad luck to be sent out of town this week so I don’t even get a snuggle for my trouble. He also expressed his growing frustration with the benching and declared that he’s impatient with the process, not me. That didn’t really make me feel better, it just made me feel even more powerless. I can’t exactly speed things up. As usual I decided to let the cyst resolve on its own rather than go on BCPs or doing some hormone intervention. That’s worked in the past so I see no reason to start messing with things even more.
My furry children are aloof as usual and have been squirreling themselves into piles of fur on warm surfaces such as my polar fleece and blankets. I suspect they are beginning their winter hibernation. I may just follow their lead. They are smart beasties, after all.