The Next Step or Overkill?

In my thrashing to Sweetie about our status as almost the Only Couple Without Children or Are Even Pregnant (it was said very dramatically), he offered that we could speed up our plan on when (and if) to try IVF. So far, IUI with stims has been our method of choice and worked for us. We have tenatively discussed doing IVF if we don’t have a pregnancy in the next six months.

I know that the success rate for IVF is much higher, but I don’t kid myself about the emotional, financial and physical toll that it can take. My initial thought is “why make it even more of a math problem than it already is?” We know that IUI works and we know that IVF is a huge undertaking. At the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that we have been treading water these past two years waiting to embark on that next quest that we have identified for ourselves.

I’m really torn. Part of me is enticed by the success rate and that we could get this over with so quickly and not have to see Dr. Uterus for some time. The other part of me is justifiably concerned about how hard it will be to deal with if an IVF cycle fails (which is very possible). Not only will we have invested so much in it, there will be little embryos who could have become children that will not have made it. I don’t know.

I do know that at least for now, I’m still content to ride the IUI train as far as it takes me. My impatience is not nearly to the level of moving on to IVF immediately, despite my thrashing. The reality is that IVF will not help my thrashing. Realizing that my thrashing is more about my need to keep up with the Joneses and less about my realistic desire to get pregnant will help my thrashing.

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