It was as we suspected. The gestational sac hadn’t grown and the yolk sac had actually disappeared. A miscarriage is imminent. No D&C this time, though, as it was so early on – this also means no karyotype. I did talk with Dr. Uterus about why this keeps happening and as I suspected, we just keep getting the bad draw as my first miscarriage was most certainly a random chromosomal event and this was one was likely the same. I told him if he used the “bad draw of the hand” analogy again I would hit him.
Sweetie and I will probably have chromosomal analyses run on our selves just to rule out some weird problems. We don’t anticipate that they will find anything, but it will be worth it to know anyway since that is likely the only testing we can do. I am very lucky that I don’t have uterine abnormalities, luteal phase issues or other problems that are usual causes of miscarriage. I just keep getting smacked upside the head by the roll of the dice.
We will definitely take a minimum three month break. Part of me is sad as it seems like we are giving up, but I know that it is the right thing to do. I actually feel incredibly relieved at the idea of just living for a while. Unfortunately, I haven’t managed to completely extricate myself from Dr. Uterus’ grasp since I have to go back for the repeated bloodwork to make sure the HCG quant goes down. Hopefully it won’t take the six weeks it took like time since this pregnancy wasn’t that far along. And, I hope I don’t have a period for 45 freakin’ days straight.
I cried some at his office and I will probably cry some more, but I also was able to have a nice lunch with my friend who came with me. I had prepared for this (although it still hurts).
I am now a member of the even more unenviable club for women with two miscarriages in a row. And still, no baby. It’s unfair and sucky, but I have led an otherwise charmed life. I’m married to a wonderful man, have wonderful friends, wonderful parents, the fluffiest and sweetest animals, a good job, a beautiful home and unlimited access to a pied-a-terre in Paris.
I just also happen to have sucky luck when it comes to reproducing. Just once, I would like to work. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe I should just ask for someone to pass the vino.