What. The. F*ck.

image: JPhilipson
The parable of the phoenix is pretty straightforward. The phoenix dies in flames and is reborn out of the ashes. What does this have to do with me? Well, it would seem we have a little phoenix.

Where to start. I was just about to head out the door to catch my flight when the phone rang. I had blood drawn this morning to see how much my HCG had gone down since last Thursday (which was 10480). Rather than going down, the nurse told me it had actually gone up to about 28,000. That was the first WTF moment. She said that Dr. Uterus wanted to see me for an ultrasound as that was the protocol when the HCG goes up rather than down. I explained that I was just about to head out of town until the middle of next week. She put me on the line with Dr. Uterus and he started talking “ectopic.” Well, he had me at ectopic. I so did not want to have some ectopic rupture away from home.

So, I called the boss, mentioned the word “ectopic”, cancelled the first leg of the trip and headed in to Dr. Uterus’ office fully desiring some type of answer to this very strange question. But, it just got weirder.

He starts wielding the dildocam and makes confused noises. I can’t see anything since the monitor was turned away (and hey, I wasn’t that eager to see). I asked him what was going on and he said:

“You’re sac has gotten bigger, and you have a fetal pole and a heartbeat.” WTF Moment #2.

I asked him if was kidding. And then he showed me. Sure as shit, there it was. He turned on the sound thing-y and there was a heartbeat, at about 124bpm. The fetus is measuring small for this time frame – 6w5d rather than 7w1d, but it was there and beating away.

I go back for another scan on Thursday, March 13. I’m also once again off booze, caffeine, etc. One small blessing is that I do not have to re-start the progesterone shots since my ovaries are apparently progesterone machines (the lab was still diluting the sample as of the call, so it was above 80 at least).

My main emotion is disbelief, followed by a close second of confusion and bewilderment. I’m also not getting excited either since we heard a heartbeat last time and it didn’t work out.

Needless to say, given my history of travel and pregnancy, I cancelled the rest of my trip.

20 thoughts on “What. The. F*ck.

  1. Wow. This is amazing! I can’t wait to see what Thursday’s scan has in store for you. Don’t worry about the smallness. These measurements can be up to a week off from what I’ve heard, so 3 days is nothing! Wow!

  2. What the f…? Seriously? You are a master of magic. This is some seriously fantabulous news. Hang in there little Phoenix.

  3. I have chills. I am floored. Almost cried. If that’s how I reacted to your post, I can only imagine the state you’re in at the moment!!!

    God bless you, darling!

  4. I am doing a cautiously optimistic happy dance right now ~ just for you & Sweetie.

    I don’t do this for just anybody.

  5. Holy shit! Just…holy shit. I’m crossing everything for you. So glad you got the call before you were out of town.

  6. I’m a friend of FarmWife, and all I can say right now is “after having been there and done that, I know exactly where you are!”

    Please remember to breathe over the next days and weeks.

    I’m not an atheist and have to say that God is good, and I’m praying that this will be THE MOMENT for you and your Sweetie!

  7. HOLY CRAP! I feel like I’ve been reading terrible news all day, and it is SO wonderful to read this. It’s something you hope for, but never would expect, and just, HOLY CRAP! I am so happy for this wonderful turn of event!

  8. What fantastic news! So nice to hear a surprising twist turn out for the better. You do know you’re going to become one of those infertility urban legends now — but a true one — which will give many gals hope.

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