Which End is Up?

image: dominocat
I seriously still don’t know if I’m coming or going. All of this, “you’re pregnant, you’re not pregnant, you’re pregnant” business is just so confusing at a very basic level. What was good last week – booze, baths and brie – has once again become verboten this week. What was a sign of progress – spotting and cramping – has once again become a sign of terror (today’s thrill was dark reddish brown. Whee!)

I also have to keep track of who knows of the latest development – and who still thinks that we miscarried. My parents – yes. His parents – no. My boss and most co-workers – yes. Semi-new employee – no. Friends – yes. Aunt and uncle – no. I almost have to start a list. We are waiting to tell some of these outlying people until next week’s scan. No reason to get everyone worked up in a tizzy. Although, it certainly would be par for the course these days if I’m lying to at least one person about the state of my uterus.

There has been some good news, if you can call it that. The nausea that last week felt like just really bad indigestion has come roaring on like gangbusters. Although, I’m not treating this as the Sign of Signs since I had nasty nausea right up until Dr. Utuerus pronounced that the pregnancy had ended about 10 days earlier during our first miscarriage.

I feel like I’ve been spun around a few hundred times and I don’t know where the sky ends and land begins.

9 thoughts on “Which End is Up?

  1. Lori – no one would believe me anyway. It’s like that episode of Star Trek (the original series) where all of a sudden Kirk et al are on the “alternate” Enterprise where they are like space pirates. I’m on the alternate infertility trip.

  2. Ohmigosh, just catching up – what happened to just being pregnant or just not being pregnant? Oh, you poor thing – your head must be spinning. I don’t even know what to say. What does the doctor say?

  3. There should be special treats for you because of your new residence, like daily massages, decadent sweet concoctions, nonalcohol wine that tastes like the real stuff. I know this has to be hell for you. Stay strong.

  4. Wow! Have just caught up with your blog, and am still trying to get my head around this strange turn of events! I can’t even begin to imagine what a rollercoaster ride you must have been on over the past few days.

    Hoping as hard as I can that everything turns out well for you.

  5. Dear Mrs. X, you’ve really been put through the wringer. I think your attitude is amazingly healthy, considering the alternate universe your womb seems to be a portal to.

    I’m going to keep hoping, though, in your stead, that somehow all goes well.

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