Oh my. Does everyone remember my friend John*?

No? You should read this brief little post before going forward. Go ahead. Take your time. I’ll wait.

[Mrs. X looks out the window. Ooh! There’s that lady who always walks in the neighborhood who desperately needs to wear a sports bra. Honey, if you have B’s or bigger, they shouldn’t be swinging – and yours are definitely doing to the two-step. Buy a freakin’ bra!]

Finished? Ok, so yesterday morning before I went on my walk, I checked my email. Usually, this is pretty anti-climactic. Yesterday? Not so much. There was an email from John. I had long ago lost hope that he was finally getting back to me on my last email in which I shared with him the news of our first loss and our struggle with infertility.

I wasn’t disappointed. Not only was it not an email finally acknowledging that we had a loss, it was pictures of the kid’s christening, with the harpie wife thrown in for good measure. To make matters worse, there was no message, it was just a generic, ‘come see my on-line album that I’m sharing with you’ bullshit. Needless to say, I didn’t look at the pictures. All I could think was “you have got to be freakin’ kidding me.”

So I spent the first 1.5 miles of my walk pondering how I should respond. Actually, I should re-phrase that. I knew exactly how I wanted to respond – I’ll spare you the expletives – but I needed to figure out how to do in a nice way while also edumacating him as to what an insensitive ass he was being.

I finally settled on this: I sent him a response email, congratulated him for the umpteenth time (I swear I’ve congratulated him on this kid more times than I’ve congratulated anyone else on the birth of a child) and then …. I asked him to stop sending me baby pictures. I told him about our second loss in a row – after IVF, no less – and told him how hard it was for me to see baby pictures right now.
image: idsfa
What I didn’t say was how insensitive I thought he was being by continuing to send me this crap when I’ve been so honest with him about all that we have been through. I realize that he’s a guy and therefore, he’s not necessarily blessed with the sensitivity gene, but we were really good friends in graduate school and I would think that general rules of friendship would mean you would AT LEAST RESPOND WHEN YOUR FRIEND TELLS YOU THAT SHE’S HAD TWO MISCARRIAGES! A simple ‘I’m sorry’ will do the trick.

As expected, I haven’t heard anything back from him and frankly, don’t expect to. But, I make this solemn pledge – if he sends me anymore freakin’ baby pictures – after I’ve specifically asked him not to – he’s getting blocked. No more Mrs. Nice X.
In other news, Spot Watch ’08 continues. To paraphrase the immortal words of Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet in Spaceballs, “She’s gone from brown to pink!” That’s about as momentous as it gets. Still no flow. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions. If things continue on their current spotty trajectory, I will get serious about getting things moving.

I’m off to do more drunk quilting. Kids, don’t try this at home.

15 thoughts on “Encore!

  1. What an incredible dense jerk! Not only does he not respond to your previous email, he thought so little of it that when he went to send another group email, he didn’t remember to remove your name. Ohimogd. I hope you used caps in your email in the subject line. As in DON’T SEND ME ANY MORE BABY PICTURES!!!!!!

  2. You know, a guy this thick is going to need to be hit a lot harder. I think the time for “no more Mrs Nice X” is loooooooong gone.


  3. I can’t believe him. Well, unfortunately I can. That insensitivity seems all too common unfortunately. I applaud your strong response and hope he gets the message.

  4. I wish we had a mythical god, along the lines of Thor, who would bonk John and his ilk with the great, blazing hammer of common decency.

    Pink is good: It’s just a hop, skip and a jump from red. At least, that’s the way I always used to roll. I think your spotted days are drawing to a close!

  5. I’m sorry you have to deal with this, Mrs X. It’s always difficult to lose a friend because of their inability to deal with your infertility.

    But this guy does sound like an absolute jerk! You really don’t need him or his baby pictures in your life at the moment – the time for Mrs Polite & Tactful X is indeed long gone.

  6. John is an insensitive bastard. And I bet the kid looks just like his harpy wife. I’m sending him mean thoughts. There, that feels good.

    You know, the sad thing is that we expect strangers to be insensitive, but friends (even grad school friends and even males!) should know better. My good friend just told me the other day that she wants to have a 3rd child, but she’ll wait until I get pregnant. It was not earwax buildup as I hoped, but truly uttered.

    So, I’ll join you with knitting while intoxicated.

  7. You have been way more than gracious with this moron. I agree with Lori, this guy is thick and needs to be hit hard. If you don’t want to hit him hard, just block him!!

  8. Bastard, bastard, bastard. I created an email filter for my friend who I didn’t want to get her baby announcement and it helps make me feel safe from idiotic emails. So I am all for blocking!!!

  9. I’m pissed on your behalf at him. Truly a jerk of the first order, and I can’t even imagine being that way to a friend. How totally insensitive.

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