I have a gap in between my two front teeth. It’s not particularly noticeable (unless you are me, who notices it all. the. time). It used to be a much larger gap, but thanks to the magic – and pain – of orthodontics, it is now a dainty little thing at the bottom of the teeth that leaves curious bite patterns in apples.
I am 32 and Mr. X just turned 35. There is a gap of three years in our ages.
There is a cavernous gap in between my ears where, supposedly, my brain is supposed to be. I think it goes AWOL alot.
There is a yawning gap between me and my first cousins, due in large part to the extreme dislike my father has for their father, his brother. I don’t really know my aunt and uncle.
By far my biggest gap, though, is the gap between what I expect will happen to me and what actually does happen to me. It is also the hardest gap to get over. There is no magic jump, no equation, no mathematical formula, or easy numerical explanation. It is a gap.
I know that I need to somehow bridge that gap, find the neutral ground, the median, the way forward through the center. The easy way, of course, is to stop having expectations. That’s pretty hard to actually put into action. We are surrounded by reminders of what we should expect – the weather is predicted for us down to – literally – the nth degree, store ads tell us that we should expect to give presents to our fathers on Father’s Day (and of course, contribute to the economic well-being of the nation), we even say that a woman is ‘expecting’ when she’s pregnant. Expectations are all around us – both external and internal.
To be able to just abandon those one day is a Herculean feat and one that I don’t think I am up for. So, now that I have eliminated the first option, what’s next? First, it is to recognize that there is a gap – there will always be a gap between what we expect and what we get. Sometimes the gap will be teeny, other times it will be ginormous. Somehow knowing that there is going to be this gap makes it a little easier to accept it.
Then, well, still try to work on letting go of expectations. I can let go of expecting rain and getting none. It may be much harder to let go expecting that I will be able to carry a pregnancy the whole way through. But, I’ll try.
That way, it will be one of the best surprises of my life.