Step 1: Make the girl with a pregnancy that is probably over before it began (in addition to two previous miscarriages and 3 + years of trying to have a live infant) come back again to the office that you share with a high risk OB for a repeat blood draw at 8am in the morning and charge her $18 for the pleasure. Flirt with the idea of waiting again until 4pm to tell her the results.
Step 2: Don’t tell the staff what happened to said girl so that instead they are chipper and ask her how she’s doing in front of the whole office staff.
Step 3: Block girl’s exit from the office with a woman and her baby – a woman who obviously can’t read the signs that ask “Please do not bring children into the office” – and then throw in a few OB nurses who exclaim, “We’re just here to see the baby!” while they ooh and aah over the adorable infant.
Step 4: Choose the exact moment that Girl is heading to bathroom to cry in private to have maintenance man go in to clean the bathroom meaning that Girl has to walk all the way to her car with tears everywhere (because the cry just couldn’t wait apparently) to really let go.
Repeat as needed to turn Girl into blubbering mess for the rest of the day and cement your reputation as an insensitive clod of the highest order.
*Update* – one small kind favor from the universe: I did not have to wait very long for my results. I am officially back to 0. Was I ever even pregnant?