Inertial

I haven’t given much thought to the Great Do I Find a New RE Debate of 2008 in the last few days. We had company last weekend and of course there is that work thing, so the mind has been preoccupied in other areas.  But, it has been sitting back there, on a shelf, slightly pushed out in front of all of the other back burner items that inhabit that area of the brain, cheekily reminding me that eventually, I’m going to have to deal with it.

During that time, in the vortex of conscious debate and thought, it seems as if inertia has taken over the decision-making process, leading me where my general feelings of dissatisfaction have been taking me.  And, inertia is making a damn fine showing. 

Case in point: the mail last Friday brought a bill from Dr. Uterus’s office.  This is actually a rare occurrence – not because we don’t owe anything, but because they tend to save up their billing for one gargantuan one every six months or so.  And, for some reason that they have yet to satisfactorily explain to me, it always tells me that the bill is overdue and we must! pay! now! to avoid collection.  Seroiusly annoying.

But, with this bill that arrived less than a month after the last procedure (shock in and of itself), we owe him nothing, monetarily speaking.  We also have no embryos left, no sperm banked, nothing of ourselves cryogenically frozen and waiting to be used at the office.

We could leave … today

I’m just not ready to do the deed.

While inertia may be pointing me in that direction, only I can give the signal that it is time to move on.  And, I’m probably 75% of the way there.  There are some lingering feelings, doubts, remorses, general hemming and hawings going on that tie up that last 25%.  The good news is that I am still not ready to jump back into treatment so I have the time to really think things through.  Right now, though, all of the potential obstacles that would have made switching or leaving difficult or pesky are nowhere to be found.  The door is open and we are free to go with no obligations. 

If it were only that easy.

image: Cougar-Studio

2 thoughts on “Inertial

  1. Hi! Thanks for commenting on my blog and I’m glad to have a new one to read.

    I went through the RE switch question twice. After my 3rd IVF was cancelled, I went to another local clinic for a 2nd opinion. That RE validated everything the first was doing, so, I decided to stay. But, it was always lingering in my mind that there might be something else and I should probably explore one of the best clinics in NYC (I’m in New Jersey). But, you know what, I was comfortable where I was and loved my RE. When he said donor egg, I said OK. But, we continued to cycle and still haven’t gone back to DE (although we paid the money and are at the top of the waitlist).

    After my 5th IVF, and my RE (who is also one of the best) saying there was absolutely nothing else to try, I decided I owed it to myself to explore (even though, I’ll admit, I felt guilty for leaving). I went for a consultation in NYC and was enlightened by what the RE said about different protocols and procedures! While I haven’t achieved success yet, I’m so very glad I made the switch.

    Good luck with your decision, when you’re ready!

  2. I say interview a few other RE’s, see what they have to say. You may decide to stay with Dr. Uterus or you might find someone you like that recommends a different protocol. It never hurts to get a second or third opinion!
    Good Luck and Best Wishes!

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