Reminders that I do not, in fact, know much at all come streaming in throughout the day, every day. I like to say that I relish the opportunity to learn something knew, but there are times when it just annoys me and makes me feel very stupid, or worse – out of touch.
My best friend who had her first child in May is an excellent example. After the baby was born, she clued me in that she too had a blog (first something I didn’t know). I looked at it and it was customary and usual stuff about the baby, the dogs, etc. All of these are topics that she and I discuss in our correspondence.
But, then, other stuff starts sneaking in – politics, family, friends. I think I always knew her political leanings, but didn’t realize just how strongly she felt about them until her post about the election. She mentions friends that I have never met and family who I’ve never heard of. Reading post after post, I had a dawning realization that I don’t know squat about my friend anymore.
I reached back in the vault of memories and realized that the last I heard of her friends was in college. I can’t remember the last time we discussed politics or ideas, or anything more than just what the dogs are doing or how the baby is or how my work is going or how our dog is.
Were we always like this? We didn’t become friends until high school and went to separate colleges. In fact, the last time we lived in the same state was 14 years ago. We had a lot of fun in high school, but I don’t think we ever had existential conversations. And, what’s strange is that we could have. We could have had amazing conversations and yet we didn’t. And I have no idea why.
So, now, we are left to discussing the A, B, Cs of daily living and there isn’t much else going on. Distance has had a lot to do with it. We don’t email much and rely on the phone to keep in touch. You really don’t want to get into a political discussion when someone is on the hook for the call. And, she is (understandably) busy with the baby. But, will there be a time when we have a friendship that is based more on just shared experiences of the past, like sharing of ideas now?
I’d like to think so. She is a wonderful person. She married a wonderful man who one time actually made me laugh until I cried. We have so much going for us, but it seems like we are doomed to wallow in the mire of trifles. I can’t ignore the fact that she is now a mom, which is probably the most amazing thing that has ever happened to her, and I have no way of relating to that whatsoever.
Perhaps the hurdle is mine in thinking that I couldn’t have any claim on a discussion other than about a baby.