Over the past week or so, Mr. X and I have been hashing out when we will next embark on that well-trodden IVF path. As I detailed earlier, jumping on the bandwagon that would get me knocked up in February is out of the question for two reasons: 1) I have a five-day conference that I can’t miss and not want to be pregnant during and 2) everytime I’ve gotten pregnant, it’s been in February and both times, I ended up miscarrying in March and having a D&C in April. I’d like to give myself a chance to get knocked up in a month longer than 28 days.
In discussing this with my therapist, she recommended waiting until April. I felt an immediate sense of relief at the thought of waiting until I was out of the psychological danger zone of February and March to begin on a new attempt.
The only problem is that Mr. X’s schedule gets very complicated in April and he really wants to do March. I know that this is the right thing to do because we most certainly want to have fresh troops for the IVF which would require his presence. Psychologically, though, this is still rather difficult for me. True, I would be getting pregnant in March, but that would still leave April open for a third D&C. Yes, I am assuming the worst because I cannot assume the best.
Instead, I will try to focus on what is different this time around: I’ve never stimmed in March, except for Clomid back in those heddy days of 2006 when I was clueless that my tubes were more blocked up than the credit market; if I did get pregnant, it would be toward the end of March (again, something relatively new); I would have a due date in late November – December; if it didn’t work, I would be able to try again relatively quickly – either another IVF or an FET; and I would have a relatively quiet December, January and February.
I think if I focus on these aspects rather than the “pregnant in March = bad outcome” theory (geez, just typing this makes my head hurt), I should be ok. It would be nice to be pregnant in April for a change. On second thought, it would be nice to pregnant at all for a change.