Eponymous Anonymous

I’ve been asked why all the cloak and dagger anonymity on this here blog.  It’s an excellent question and one deserving of an answer.  And, since my mental blog topic list is a little short at the moment, I saw this as a perfect blog topic. I get to talk about myself and in response to a legitimate question.  What more can a girl ask for?

The short answer is: I am a paranoid control freak.

The long explanation is a little more multi-faceted (isn’t it always?).  Let’s break it down:

Paranoia: my name in real life is fairly uncommon and if you Google me, it is disgustingly easy to find me.  And, just in case you were concerned that maybe there were multiple people with my exact name in the U.S., you could click on a link and determine in pretty short order that the person described fits my age group and gender. 

Why is this a problem, you ask.  Well, there’s that little thing about me being an atheist.  I out myself to a select group and only after careful vetting do I deem them worthy of this knowledge.  And,  there are quite a few people – employers included – who don’t look very kindly on atheists.  To some, it is the same as me posting a picture of me taking bong hits on a My.Space profile (and for the record, I’ve never tried dope or any other illegal drug).  I am not a “loud and proud” atheist and I would like to keep it that way, at least in association with my real name.

So, why not give more details, but just not my name?  With every identifiable detail I drop, I feel a little more naked.  It’s a slippery slope from giving out a detail here and there to baring it all.  I prefer to remain fully clothed.

Control Freak: I like to know that I’m only giving out information that is designed not to send people running in my direction.  Once you put something on the internet, it tends to go viral, so the less information I can give out the better. 

Finally, I really, really like being anonymous.  It adds to my mystery and hugs my curves.

12 thoughts on “Eponymous Anonymous

  1. I’m pseudo-anonymous. The longer I’ve blogged the more details I’ve revealed. In all honesty, I wish I had given less away. But then I wouldn’t have been able to tell as much of my story. So, I’ve accepted the compromise. :/

    Mrs. X: a good compromise, I think.

  2. I get where you are coming from. It isn’t nearly the same but I get a little of that discrimination. I am a Christian, a Nazarene to be exact, but I attend a Catholic University. I attend this University because it is a competitive/prestigious institution. Also, they are giving me a massive chunk of aid so I am paying less than what I would pay to go to a state college. I am acutely aware every time I am on campus that I am the outcast. Sure, there are people that are even more outcast than I but it is uncomfortable and if I had it all to do over again I might not have attended this college.

    My point? I think you are smart to keep yourself clear of judgment by being secretive. This is your little corner of the world, you might as well keep it as judgment free as possible. Not to mention that it does totally hug your curves.

    Mrs. X: your comment made me think of yet another reason why I am anonymous, which is that I don’t exactly what everyone in my world to know all of the details of my infertility. So, thanks!

  3. Hmmmm…I wonder why people feel the need to know everything about someone else…I rather like your anonymity and wish I had left myself a bit more anonymous…

    Hindsight, as they say…

    Mrs. X: I may have had to vision correction surgery, but my hindsight has always been 20/20!

  4. Very crafty title indeed. In fact much of what I read about you today I found, crafty, clever and intriguing. So much so, that I wanted to know more. I wanted to regionalize you, see your face / eyes and possibly know your name. Perhaps if I read further you would have divulged more. The Sargent lady in repose (or regret?) has been in my office for a decade and when I found you today I screeched to a brief halt to learn more. But no, you are heavily cloaked.

    I’ve been told often in life that I offer too much information; for better and for worse. Ask my ex husband what he did with my bound journals that I wrote before I had even met him. Going through infertility has posed a quandry; tell who, tell what, and tell when turns up a daily challenge b/c I DO like to wear my heart on my sleeve.

    I’d like to reposnd to your religious (lack of) excuse for anonymity, but am going to think on that before I respond.

    Nice to meet you and I look forward to learning more about you.


    Mrs. X: It’s interesting that you focus on the fact that I don’t give a lot of identifying details as the way to get to know me. I think that my writing in this blog is actually very revealing of the true me, far more than my name or my face. I think those are quite superficial details compared with the soul-baring I do here.

    Welcome to the blog and I hope you continue reading.

  5. I get your point. I’m pseudo anonymous, except of course that my story is uncommon. I’m sure a clever clogs somewhere could find me out. Ah well.


    Mrs. X: I like the term ‘pseudo-anonymous’. Very appropros.

  6. My blogger name is the one I’ve used online for years (or a variation thereof), & more or less my real-life name (although I have tried to protect my last name & exact location). Sometimes I kind of wish I’d gone for a little more anonymity, but it’s kind of hard to undo what’s been done & what’s already out there.

    A few years ago, a couple of our support group clients talked about their blogs. I went home, online & found every one of them within about five minutes flat.

    Mrs. X: that is precisely what I don’t want to happen. I only want people I know to read this blog if I’ve told them about it.

  7. I totally understand. The anonymity seems to give more freedom of expression. I don’t worry about who will read what I write or what they will think of me. There are so many emotions that go along with IF and it’s nice to be able to share those emotions with ultimate honesty. I tend to downplay my feelings about IF with family and friends, but because I know that none of them will find my blog, I am free to share exactly how I feel.

    As I’ve mentioned to you before, your blog was an immediate favorite when I first discovered the IF blogosphere. I really like the fact that you are anonymous. In fact, you’re the reason I decided to blog anonymously. If your anonymity contributes to your poignant posts, then keep it up! I’ll certainly keep reading. 🙂

    Mrs. X: you are absolutely right about the freedom of expression. I don’t have to censor myself as much. And, I’m so glad that I was able to inspire you to blog anonymously. Thanks for letting me know that.

  8. Anonymity is a great thing. It doesn’t detract a bit from your story and keeps you happy – what more could you ask for? Me – I don’t even have a blog (anonymous or otherwise) for fear of privacy invasion…I know I’d be tempted at some point to reveal too much.

    Mrs. X: there are times when I really want to share certain details, but can’t. But, I always remember why I can’t and that’s enough.

  9. From one anonomouse to another, I don’t think you’re paranoid. It’s smart not to put too many identifying details into your blog, especially when you’re blogging about intensely personal stuff.

    Mrs. X: exactly.

  10. I can understand the need for anonymity. That’s really, at times, the beauty of being online.

    I nominated you for the,”I will not be silent about infertility!” award. The info is on my latest post on my blog, if you want to check it out.

    Mrs. X: thanks for the award! I’ll check it out.

  11. Being British, and having been an atheist since, ooh, ever, and having been brought up by an atheist parent and a lapsed Catholic parent and then by a nest of real live COMMUNISTS, all of whom had absolutely uncloven feet, I find the American obsession with religion, being religious, and horror of and paranoia about atheism absolutely weird.

    Upsetting, infuriating, ridiculous, painful, stupid, thoughtless, damaging, and absolutely weird.

    That clearly intelligent, kind, thoughtful and useful members of a community daren’t reveal they are atheists in case they are judged viciously by their ‘religious’ neighbours? Weird. And horrible.

    That religious people insist on thinking that lack of belief equals lack of morals, manners, kindness, worth and goodness? Insulting. And also very very stupid as in these cases the person displaying the lack of morals, manners and kindness is the religious person.

    I remember a very Christian (ha!) woman telling me I couldn’t possibly be a good, moral person, even though we met helping out at an Old People’s Home. No, wait, she was helping out of Christian charity, I was evilly and cynically being nice to old ladies for mean-spirited reasons. Obviously.

    *Hugs* to you. I won’t be in the least offended if you decide you don’t need/ want this comment on your blog. I realise it’s rather strong and on a DIFFICULT subject, and may attract unnecessary attention.

    Mrs. X: there is no end to the ideas that we come up with about others just based upon their professed religion (or lack thereof). I actually had someone tell me once that they had never met an atheist. I felt like I was in a zoo.

  12. My anonimity was a request/demand of my husband. No names. No faces. Oddly, I think my face keeps popping up over here which makes me laugh. As long as it’s just me & not my kids I’m OK with it.

    Personally, I like to pretend you’re famous…..

    Mrs. X: I’m totally famous! Not. But, you point out another reason why I do this anonymously – because I don’t just talk about yours truly.

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