Will There Be a Quiz?

Well, I don’t have a schedule* yet, but I do have a plan.

Monday was CD 1 and I was so thankful for having a genuinely normal 30-day cycle, complete with 13 day luteal phase that I wasn’t even that upset that Big Red showed up.  I called Dr. Salsa’s office and had The Talk with the IVF coordinator about timing. 

And, once again, Mrs. X learned that ever important lesson: jumping to conclusions does no one an iota of good.  Apparently, under their schedule I would start BCPs next Sunday and wouldn’t start stimming until the end of February which means that all of the important stuff that Mr. X needs to be around for happens in mid-March – precisely when we want it to.  I don’t have specifics yet, but she assured me that his scheduled travel at the end of February will not cause any problems. Cautionary whew.

buster-mcleodPart of the reason I don’t have any specifics, though, is that Dr. Salsa’s office is kinda sorta holding them hostage.  The ransom? I have to attend their IVF class and do my upfront payment for the entire cycle.  Some would call this extortion.  I’m so far into IF treatment that I call it the cost of doing business.  I choose to believe that they have legitimate reasons for doing it this way (getting their money to avoid nasty money battles later) and are not doing it just to cause angst and further stress on the part of already frayed nerves.  I also choose not to extol on the breathtaking unfairness that I have to pay exorbitant amounts of money to get knocked up.** 

So, guess what I’m doing Friday morning? I’m attending IVF class, because it was either Friday morning or wait until February to take the class and, duh, get my schedule. That was a no-brainer for me. 

I am decidedly curious about this class. Dr. Uterus had no such protocol.  During my tenure under his care, my only ‘class’ , if you could call it that, was a 5 minute lecture before my first injectible IUI cycle from Nurse to a T on how to fill a syringe and where to do the deed.  Seriously.  So, it will be very entertaining to see what they will attempt to educate me on that I haven’t already done.  I’ve been through 6 injectibles cycles, 1 IVF and 1 FET with a bonus mock cycle.  I have mixed my own medicine (no pre-filled syringes here, I’m afraid), I’ve given myself all of my own shots – PIO injections, HCG triggers, Lupron, Menopur, oh my! -, I’ve shot up in airport bathrooms, hotel rooms and relatives’ homes in at least three states, I can take medicine on a schedule (hello, phone alarm!), and I can follow directions.  IVF is not a walk in the park, but what requires a 2 hour class to explain

And good student that I am, I will bring along something with which to take copious notes and will raise my hand before asking a question. So far, my only question is “will there be a quiz?”

* Do any other Americans out there have a lovely chirpy British lady’s voice in their head who says ‘shedule’ whenever they read this word?

** Check back later, though. I may change my mind on that one.

image: Buster McLeod

10 thoughts on “Will There Be a Quiz?

  1. I totally heard the same thing in my head when you said “sheeedule”. lol.

    My ransom is my mandatory psych eval on the 30th (I guess to confirm I am a crazy infertile that hasn’t gone completely crazy), and a check for 90% of the cost of the DE cycle. egh.

  2. hi, thanks for your kind comment on my blog. i’m looking forward to following your journey, it looks like you’ve been through so much already, i’ll be rooting hard for you during this upcoming IVF!

    i loved this post – we should start a web list of all the random places IVFers have shot up, im sure it would be quite amusing! 😉

  3. My British lady’s voice is more condescending than chirpy, but I still like her!

    A class? How come I didn’t get a class? But when you can give yourself a PIO shot in your own ass without later looking like you’ve been assaulted in some strange way, there’s not a lot else they can do for you.

    Let us know how it goes…. good luck! I’m thinking the quiz will be more of a “hands on” thing. 🙂

  4. Perhaps it’s the “egg class” or “embryo class” that some REs have. The embryologist goes through all phase of egg maturity, how spe.rm are chosen, how fertilization happens, grading, etc. I’ve heard that it’s interesting, even for IVF veterans and the RE staff always tell me that patients love the class. If it’s any consolation. 🙂

    I sure hope it isn’t an injection class! I’m nodding off just thinking about it . . .

  5. Perhaps they’re going to offer a post-colonial, post-industrial ontological perspective on the historiography of IVF in the context of queer theory.

    Oh, sorry, that only happens in the evil classrooms of my twisted dreams.

    At the very least, they better have mimosas and donuts.

  6. We had to do a class, but it was back when we were raw beginners and knew nothing. I seem to recall the nurse instructing DH to hold and aim the PIO needle like a dart, but not actually to throw it at my bottom. Valuable information.

    The paid up front thing, I get. But yeesh, couldn’t they at least give you the option of giving a credit card number over the phone? (or were we the only ones who decided that if we had to pay thousands of dollars to have a baby, we might as well get the rewards points out of it?)

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