Don’t Make Me Use My Angry Infertile Voice

haxed

I’d like to think that even in the midst of this struggle, I maintain a certain level of self-control and politesse when coordinating with Dr. Salsa’s office.  They are just trying to help us realize that elusive goal and I try to let them know that I appreciate that by being polite and courteous.  There is hardly ever a need to raise one’s voice or be just plain rude. image: haxed

But, this credo was sorely put to the test this week.  On Thursday, to be exact.

When I was at the office for my whirlwind of a visit last Friday, Nurse Chipper (as in she’s always chipper and happy and actually chirps) promised that she would have my IVF schedule ready by the following Wednesday.  I called her on Thursday because I hadn’t heard anything. 

I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, that she had forgotten to send it to me the day before, that she was just finishing it up and would have it over to me in no time.  What I didn’t want to hear is what she told me:

Nurse Chipper: “So, I was looking at the calendar [WHICH WE BOTH WENT OVER AD NAUSEUM ON FRIDAY] and it looks like the lab will actually have to close the week that we had looked at for your retrieval, so we are going to have reschedule your cycle.”

Me: Silence. Inside, I’m beginning to feel that heady mixture of anger and disappointment.

Nurse Chipper: “See, the lab has to close for one week every three to four months for an inspection and this just happens to be that week.”

Me: “And they can’t move it?”

Nurse Chipper: “No, it depends upon the inspector. And, I knew that they were going to close it, but I just didn’t know when. But, now I do know.”

[What I wanted to say: THEN WHY THE F*CK DID YOU POINT OUT THAT WEEK AS BEING A GENUINE POSSIBILITY AND NOT EVEN MENTION THAT THIS WAS A POTENTIAL ISSUE!?!?!]

What I did say: Really big sigh.  “I have the worst luck in the world.”

And, then it just got worse.

Nurse Chipper: “We can move it up so that we have a retrieval the last week of February.” [WHICH IS THE EXACT WEEK I TOLD YOU MR. X IS OUT OF TOWN, IN ANOTHER TIME ZONE FOR THE WHOLE WEEK.] Or, you have to wait until the end of March to begin stims and have a retrieval in April.”

[What I wanted to say: I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT!!! HE IS GOING TO BE SO PISSED BECAUSE HE SCHEDULED THAT TRAVEL ON THE ASSUMPTION THAT WE WOULD DO EVERYTHING THAT REQUIRED HIS PRESENCE IN MARCH!!! AND NOW THAT I’VE DECIDED THAT I’M READY, AND OH YEA, I STARTED THOSE G*DDAMN BIRTH CONTROL PILLS ALREADY, I DO NOT WANT TO WAIT UNTIL THE END OF MARCH!]

Me: “Like we discussed last week, Mr. X will be out of town that whole week.  But, let me talk to him and see if he can move his travel schedule. I also really don’t want to wait until the end of March to get going.”

“Nurse Chipper: “Ok! Talk to him and then give me a call back so that I know where to put you on the calendar.”  No sorry, no I should have told you that this was a distinct possibility when we went over the calendar on Friday, no oops. 

And, when I tried to call her back that afternoon with questions that Mr. X and I had about scheduling, I’m informed she’s gone for the day. At 1:30pm.  I appreciate that you work on Saturdays, lady, and I don’t begrudge you the right to have your time off. BUT FREAKING TELL ME SO THAT I DON’T GET EVEN MORE FRUSTRATED AT EVEN MORE INFORMATION THAT YOU AREN’T GIVING ME THAT IS KIND OF IMPORTANT.

How did it end?

Mr. X was able to move Heaven and Travel so that we can proceed with fireworks at the end of February, bless him and his boss.  I was able to speak with Nurse Chipper yesterday morning and I now have that importnat 8 x 11.5 piece of paper with my directives for the next month.  I have a schedule and I am on their IVF calendar.  

I also managed to keep my temper in check with Nurse Chipper which I know will pay dividends the farther down this twisted road we get, and which I am pretty proud of myself for.  I treat RE staff like I do waitstaff at a restaurant: with the utmost respect because they are handling something that is very precious to you and you don’t want them spitting in it!

But, I won’t lie to you and say it was easy.  There was much fist-banging and cursing going on in the background with some temper-tantruming to Mr. X.  Thursday night, though, I went to Bunco, braless and in my Scooby-Doo slippers, lost $3, drank too much wine and had a grand old time at it.  By the time I got home, all I could think was, “what schedule?”

23 thoughts on “Don’t Make Me Use My Angry Infertile Voice

  1. oh geez. I freaking hate when that happens (in other words, I hate not being in control)! Thank goodness you were able to bite your tounge at Chipper. Why is it that the nurses in charge of scheduling have such a hard time SCHEDULING?

  2. I know well the internal seething that can happen when all you want to know is “Why didn’t you tell me THAT piece of CRUCIAL information WHEN WE TALKED BEFORE?” I’m glad you got the situation resolved but sorry it was so crazy-making!

  3. i’m very impressed with your self-control skills. adding extra scheduling stress on top of an already stressful process is so crappy. im glad to hear your hubby & his boss were able to come through and rearrange the trip.

    yay for being on the feb IVF calendar!! 😉

  4. Congrats on not ripping Nurse Chipper’s head off…I’ve been in similar situations and know the restraint that entails!

    Great to hear that your husband was able to move things around and that you’re on the calendar. I’ll continue to stop by to see how thing are going.

  5. Very impressive control. I probably would have gone off on that particular nurse. Scheduling seems to be an issue in all areas of health care. I do not know why this is such a problem.

  6. It’s amazing to me the stuff they fail to tell us, or the way they fail to be proactive. I dont’ think they get at all that we plan our lives around this shit. Grrr. Glad you got everything moved around though.

  7. Damn, you’re a saint, Mrs. X. I would not have had your poise and discipline in that situation.

    I’m so glad you got it worked out and don’t have to wait another month to get going.

  8. Christ on a cracker. I’m glad it worked out for you after all the stress but you shouldn’t have had to deal with it to begin with . Your husbands boss needs a really nice gift on bosses day!

    Bunco in slippers and braless? Do tell!

  9. In defense of Nurse Chipper, she probably did not know when the inspector would decide to do the inspection. So, you could probably find the inspector and rip his/her head off to soothe your psyche.

    That’s what I find though – whenever I schedule something that will work perfectly for me, someone else comes along and screws it all up. That’s what’s wrong with the world; no one cares what you have going on. They’re only interested in their own selfish needs. The nerve.

    Anyway, glad you got it all worked out.

  10. I think you showed remarkable self-control and inner poise in dealing with Nurse Chipper, Mrs X.

    But the image I now have of you shuffling around drunkenly in your slippers does somewhat shatter the illusion I had had up to this point – somehow I always imagine a perfectly turned out Mrs X, who has a bon mot for every occasion!

  11. Good for you, Mrs. X. I’m glad you were able to contort yourself into their inflexible schedule! What a cluster…..

    And thanks for stopping by earlier…

    🙂

  12. Oh my god, my head would have exploded. I am SO GLAD you worked out the schedule. As far as I’m concerned, once I start taking meds if you fuck with my schedule you are fucking with my HEALTH and it cannot be tolerated.

    Nice job keeping your cool. You’re right, of course, you have to stay level no matter what, because you depend on these people.

    So now–GOOD LUCK!!!

  13. I totally know the feeling. My IVF coordinator is a complete idiot who NEVER calls me back. I start lupron tomorrow, Jan. 25, and we haven’t even received our calendar yet…nice huh? We have an apt. tomorrow where we discuss everything…and start on the same day. I’m so stressed about it…Anyway – good luck with everything!

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