Transferring, Please Hold (It)

I vividly remember the last time I had to pee so badly that it physically hurt. It was in 1997 or 1998, when I was a junior in college.  We were walking home to the dorm after a particularly marathon-esque night of imbibing.  mark-kempeNow that I think about it, there were probably at least five buildings on campus between the (off-campus but right next to the edge) bar and our dorm that would have been unlocked in which I could have made a mad dash to a fluorescent-lighted throne with my name on it.  For some reason, though, I had to wait until we got to the dorm and it was Torture.

My friend tried to distract me by having me tell him a story, and I played along, walking fast but gingerly. But, in reality, I was still just as cognizant of the fact that the dam was going to burst, sooner rather than later and I really didn’t want it to burst in front of my friends.  In the end, we made it to the dorm with nary a drop spilled and I was able to give my eternal thanks to the builders of that 10-story cinderblock menace from hell for having the wherewithal to install a bathroom on the first floor. 

Fast forward, eleven or so years, and once again I had to pee so badly it hurt.  Only this time, there was no booze to be blamed. No seal had been broken and drinking had continued.  All that had happened was that I was swigging water like I was on a desert island in a desperate attempt to actually completely fill my bladder. 


turtlesEver since I had known that we would probably have embyros to transfer, I began to think about what special thing I wanted to have with me at the transfer, especially since my most special thing, Mr. X, wasn’t going to be there. The powers that be sent him to the northeast yesterday and he won’t return until tomorrow.  My mind kept coming back to one item that just made me smile: a pair of turtle socks that Mr. X game me for Christmas a few years ago.  It’s rare for him to pick out clothes for me and so these were extra special because he had chosen them. And, they are just so darn cute.  I knew what I needed to wear so that I could feel him with me even if he was far, far away.  And they really helped.  Thanks, little turtles.


Once I had gotten dressed, walked the G and dispensed with the feedings of the various animals, I began to swill the fluids that usually run right through me: tea (decaf, of course) and water. I also had some grapes (so juicy!) for breakfast.  About an hour later, still not getting that ‘gotta go’ feeling, I headed out the door with my glass of water in hand and made my way to Dr. Salsa’s office for my acupuncture treatment before the transfer.  I was swigging at stoplights and taking a slurp on boring stretches of road.  I still didn’t feel much need to go when I got there and I began to worry that maybe I wasn’t drinking enough, after all I had peed when I got out of bed.

I needn’t have worried. By the time she came back to take out the needles, it was getting uncomfortable.  By the time I was ushered back into the procedure area, it was really uncomfortable.  And, adding insult to injury, I had to change into my gown in a bathroom.  There was the toilet, pristine and white and untouchable.  I grabbed my iPod and walked as best as I could to the bed before getting in and trying not to think about how I was now sweating because I had to pee so badly.

I listened to a podcast of Car Talk because I needed distraction from the agony going on down below.  By the time I was in the room with the ultrasound, I was almost writhing in pain. My legs were shaking and I was spewing four-letter words.  I was on the verge of tears when Dr. Salsa appeared and I had a glimpse of hope that relief was going to be coming soon.  And it did, in the form of a catheter that he inserted and placed in a bed pan and I can easily tell you that I have never felt so good as when I was literally peeing in the face of my RE. 

After this relieving interlude, my bladder was still full enough that they could do the ultrasound visualization on my belly, but I was blissfully comfortable.  I was so comfortable, in fact, that I didn’t even feel the catheter for the transfer. It was the smoothest transfer I have ever had – even of my 6 IUIs. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

So, how many embryos were sent down the fun chute? Two beauties. As of this morning, these two were the real over (ova?) achievers of the group and were apparently raising their little hands going, “ooh, oh pick me!” to the embryologist. The other three are still doing well, but were not as enthusiastic. We’ll know tomorrow if they developed enough to be frozen.  I’m going to fight the urge to pass judgments on the success of this cycle if the other three do not in fact make it to the deep freeze of the nitrogen tank.

As for whether this will work, I’m not thinking much past tomorrow.  There’s a stack of books that are waiting to be read, beautiful weather to be enjoyed and animals to be scratched and loved on.  If there was anytime to just be, it would be now. 

image top left: Mark Kempe

22 thoughts on “Transferring, Please Hold (It)

  1. damn, your post made me laugh out loud! isn’t funny how a full bladder and an ultrasound being pushed on your belly will make you appreciate a cathedar?!

    i love the socks! hope they brought you lots of luck and those perfect embyros are snuggling in for the long haul!

    Yeah, I never thought I would appreciate a flimsy piece of plastic stuck where the sun doesn’t shine as much as I did. 🙂

  2. OK reading this made me want to pee and I don’t even need to. :p


    Whatever you do, don’t visualize fountains or the ocean!

  3. “and I can easily tell you that I have never felt so good as when I was literally peeing in the face of my RE”

    Beautiful. Love it! So glad it went well… 🙂

    Thanks, 🙂

  4. Enjoy your day tomorrow! Glad it was a smooth transfer–I’m going to say that bodes very, very well.

    Thanks – I think it bodes well, too.

  5. I once peed my pants in a tube station in London after a long night of drinking. I’d like to say that I was young and stupid, but I was in my late twenties. I’ve never had to pee so bad in my life.

    Well, at least you did it in an exotic locale, right?

  6. Here’s hoping the next time you have to pee that bad, it’s because someone is using your bladder as a bouncy seat!!

    I had to laugh at the imagery of my bladder as a bouncy seat and that I am actually trying to get to that point. Thanks for your thoughts!

  7. Ova achievers! haha, good one. May they rest comfortably and permanently in your fleecy uterus!

    Why did you have to have a catheter, why didn’t you just pee a little bit -in the bathroom – to take the edge off?

    Excellent question – I knew that once I did the sit, I wouldn’t be able to stop and they kept me pretty far away from the bathroom. Besides, if I had done that, then I wouldn’t have the great story about peeing in my RE’s face! Thanks for the kind thoughts!

  8. Love the turtle socks and your hold-it story had me laughing to tears this morning. Hoping that the 2 on board decide to stay for the long haul. Best wishes my dear!

    As long as you weren’t peeing while laughing, I’m glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂 Thanks!

  9. Yay for a painless transfer. I will send good thoughts your way that the 2ww goes as easily – and with as good a result.

    I can’t ask for much more than that! Thanks!

  10. Here’s hoping that gotta-pee feeling continues for the rest of the year! Love the turtle socks…

    Thanks – only in our alternative universe would a wish to have the gotta-pee feeling would be welcome. 🙂

  11. I’m howling. Too, too funny! Things sound wonderful so far – hope the little beauties stick firmly where they should!

    Right. I’m off to pee……

    Er, I hope you’re howling from laughter, not from pee pain. Thanks for the good wishes!

  12. You and the turtles have the right attitude. Read some great books, have some good thoughts, enjoy the time to yourself. I will be stalking you regularly for all the news and nonnews you see fit to provide!

    Ooh! I have an official stalker! I hope I continue to have interesting news to keep you stalking. 🙂

  13. Oh yeah, the full bladder – and then they press down with the ultrasound… good times…

    Best of luck with your lovely strong embies, I have everything crossed for you!

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