That’s What Friends Are For

hopper_chop-sueyI have a very hard time asking for help from my friends.  It always starts a running tally in my mind, “ok, so and so had us over for dinner, so now we need to have them over for dinner” and I begin to feel very guilty if the perceived balance of favors gets out of my hand.  With the drama of last week, I think I have piled up so many favors to repay that I will be cooking from now until December. 

When I started bleeding last Monday, I knew that there was no way I was going to be able to walk the dog.  I intended to remain horizontal until told that it was safe to do otherwise.  When we saw Dr. Salsa the next day, I was told to take it easy, and that included not walking the dog.  Mr. X was able to pick up some of the slack, but only in the evenings.  My dear friend in the neighborhood graciously stepped in and squired G about the neighborhood three to four times during the week between the bleeding and when I was finally cleared. 

As if that wasn’t enough, she also took me to my latest monitoring appointment* with Dr. Salsa since Mr. X thoughtlessly scheduled business travel this week (I give him no credit for the fact that this was scheduled several weeks in adanvce).   She had such a great time that she even offered to come on our other appointments.  

How did I ever manage to find such a wonderful friend?

How did I ever manage to find such wonderful bloggy friends who left such lovely notes last time?

How can I possibly make all of this up to everyone?

*I was still anxious about this appointent because even though we are officially farther than we’ve ever gotten before, I cannot let myself begin to assume that everything will work out.  But, the minute the picture came up on the screen, Little Bugger was no kidding spinning around like a disco ball.  The arms were longer and the heartbeat was a nice 180.  It also measured 11w2d even though at my appointment I was 11 weeks at the appointment.  We’re still taking it one day at a time.

15 thoughts on “That’s What Friends Are For

  1. I understand your point of view regarding friends, but it is a fact that, sometimes, one cannot simply even out the ‘balance’ of favours,
    And this is when ‘karma’ comes in. Do good to others, and good will (eventually) happen to you too. (At least, I hope so.) You have to stop feeling yourself indebted to your friends when they help you, because it is not constructive and potentially it can make things awkward.
    And my piece of assvice – let them know how grateful you are to them and this will lead to a moment I find extraordinary in life, two human beings who are not in a family or love relationship, but still they are close and sharing a unique emotional connection. When I feel that, rarely, but it happens, it sweeps me off my feet.
    You must be a pretty special person for your friends to do useful or needed things for you without your asking. But I bet you do not think so… Thankfully, they do.

    Stay well and enjoy your time. Or at least remember it very well, so when you are old and gray and dot on your grandkids, you can relive it AND enjoy it.

  2. I’m a little behind on my blog reading, so am only just catching up on the story so far. I’m so glad that the scare turned out to be nothing more than that, and hoping that all goes well from here on.

  3. I am so happy for you. So happy.

    I know you are nervous, but remember every day is another step to the goal. With all the people supporting you, you can do it.

  4. Hooray for the Bugger! I’m humming some BeeGees, just to further encourage his/her continued wonderful growth and boogieing.

    One day at a time.

    But then again, what is it? 5 days? to week 12? 🙂

    Hey, and you never, ever have anything to pay back or make up for friendship and kindness and support. Not in my book.

  5. I am so grateful that you’ve got someone close enough to help out! I am so thankful that Little Bugger is dancing away happily and still oblivious to the havoc the rest of your body seems intent upon wreaking.

    Taking it one day at a time is all we can do…no matter our situation.

    Prayers for you, Mr. X and your Dancing Bugger…don’t be surprised if next time you see some serious Leisure Suit action goin’ on in there!

  6. Mrs. X, you’ve been in my thoughts. I’ve been silent, but I’ve been following every post with anguish, anxiety, and hope. I want so badly for this to be the beginning of the new chapter in your life. Glad to know the bleeding was a clot. Hope you’re feeling better.

  7. I also find it really hard to not tally up the favours that I have to return, but in this case I think that your gratitude and appreciation of the people that are helping you are enough. There will be instances in the future where you can repay their kindness, I’m sure.

    I’m so glad that the little guy is doing well. I wish I could hold some of your anxiety in my heart. I believe so much that your dream is finally going to be realized. 🙂

  8. The thing is, friends also notice when they are the ones always behind in the favor department. So, occasionally, it’s nice to let them get ahead. That’s what friends are for.

    Glad your little one was spinning like a disco ball. That sounds like fun! 11 weeks! Already? Fantastic!

  9. It all comes out in the wash, as they say. Accept the generosity of friends; it actually makes them feel good, too. We are taking it one day at a time with you as well. Hang in there little bugger!

  10. I have that same inclination – I never want to be too much in the red with friends. But if I really think about it, if I’m fond of someone, I have *no* problem dropping everything to do a favor for a friend. I never think later about the fact that they owe me. I don’t resent doing the favor, I enjoy it. I’m not keeping a tally as a creditor (only as a debtor) – so it seems most likely that my creditors aren’t either.

    And in this particular case – if reading your blog is any indication, you’re very reserved, right? IF has been a tough journey for you, and you probably haven’t opened your perspective to your IRL friends that much. And you haven’t had the sort of oversharing exuberance about the pregnancy that seems to be standard these days, so your good friends haven’t been able to share your experience in a way that they might be happy to. If this gal offered to come to more appointments, it sounds like me as though she was delighted to share with you something important in your life that, absent your sudden and brief dependency, she might have been totally outside of. (Now I need to remember my excellent advice for when I am in a similar situation.)

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