Free To A Good Home

I’m a registered organ donor.  I’m a registered marrow donor.  I give blood.  I’ve considered being a kidney donor.  If I can help someone else by donating something that I have that they need, I’ll do it.

But, when it came to the question of whether to donate our remaining frozen embryo, I was initially dead set against it.  I couldn’t bear the thought of our potential child being out there without me knowing about it.  I never thought of my embyros as children when we were going through IVF, but now that one of those embryos actually became my child, I can see the potential for this final embryo to actually become a child. The thought of that child being out there in the world not knowing who we are and we not knowing it was not acceptable to me.

Thing was that Mr. X and I both knew that we would not be using it.  The main reason is that there is just one and we did not want to go through all of the procedures for a FET with just one embryo.  And, we did not want to do any more invasive procedures to have another child.  Once we had Rex, I was pretty certain that I didn’t want any more children.

That left the question of what to do with this last totsicle.  Mr. X first raised donating it to an infertile couple.  I rejected this, multiple times, but he was his usual kind and patient self, letting me get to my own conclusions on my own time.

Then, a friend needed embryos.  All of a sudden, I wanted to give her that totsicle.  Because I knew that she and her husband would give that child, if there was a child, a wonderful home. I would also know how the child was doing and growing.  In the end, my friend ended up not taking our totsicle.  But, by then, embryo donation became a much more viable and feasible option for me.  I did a little research and learned that there was such a thing as open embryo adoption.  I knew that I could do that.

I have no qualms about our potential child being raised by someone else.   As long as I can pick the family and know in my heart that the child will be raised with love and stability.  We’d love to be able to keep in touch, particularly so that Rex can meet his brother or sister.  But mainly to see how they are doing in this great wide world of ours.

4 thoughts on “Free To A Good Home

  1. thanks for this — i’d love to hear more about what the process of your mind’s changing has been like. we’re not there yet, but it’s extremely likely that we will at some point need to decide what to do with some number of embryos.

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