Grace in Small Things 2/18/2011

Spent the day at home with Rex since he had a fever yesterday and is banned from daycare for 24 hours.  We had a good time.

  1. I had a great time taking pictures of Rex eating his breakfast (and then his bowl):
  2. Mr. X returned from his business trip – second in two weeks. He’s now home for three weeks!!  I missed him so much.
  3. Rex made me laugh when I was trying to get the cap off of his bottle before sitting down with him.  He yanked the bottle out of my hands and stuck it in his mouth.  The boy LOVES his bottle and he is strong.  There is reason why it took three NICU nurses to hold him down when he was in there at 48hours old.
  4. Recognizing how lucky, lucky, lucky we are that Rex is so healthy (chronic ear infections not withstanding).
  5. Beautiful afternoon for a walk with Rex, Mr. X and G.  We met lots of neighbors and enjoyed catching up with them.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 2/17/2011

Another tough day, but I will find 5 good things!

  1. Rex’s greeting from President Obama arrived today in the mail. There is something so neat about finding a cream envelope simply marked “The White House, Washington, D.C.” in your mailbox.  It’s been a while since I got one of those (since the Clinton Administration, actually).  Don’t worry, though, I made sure I also got a greeting from the governor of our extremely red state.  Both are equally non-partisan and wildly appropriate for the occasion.  And, suitable for framing!
  2. I was able to comfort Rex this afternoon when he had a fever and a double ear infection.  He held him in my lap and just kissed his wispy hair.  It was so nice to have him sit in my lap and just be.  Unfortunately, he usually only does that when he’s not feeling well. But, I snagged an emergency appointment at the pediatrician’s office, got a script for antiobiotics and got Rex home all within 1.5 hours.  Woot!
  3. Sold some of Rex’s baby stuff easily and with no hassle. Such a wonderful difference from yesterday’s attempt.
  4. It was 80 degrees here today.  There are green things shooting out of the ground.  It even SMELLS like spring.  I’m feeling that power of renewal coming through already.
  5. Planned the next crockpot experiment: chicken with cream of mushroom soup. better not let me down!

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 2/16/2011

Epically frustrating day.  It was not just one thing, but lots of little things.  Ugh. Truly a day to look hard for the things that were bright.

  1. I made at least several people’s day with the video of Rex crawling around with a sock in his mouth.  Hell, it made my day again. And again. And again.  I needed it today.
  2. I’m rediscovering my Poli Sci major from college.
  3. Discussing Rex’s first birthday party (29 days away!) with my parents at dinner.  Most of the planning was for the celebration that we, the adult, will have for making it through the first year.  I doubt that Rex will really appreciate the gravity of the calendar hitting March 17 and will be content to smoosh his face into a cupcake of sugar-y goodness.  We will be content to smoosh our faces into margaritas.
  4. Made plans with my mom to take Rex to the park on Saturday for his first swing set experience!
  5. Comfy pants fresh out of the dryer.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 2/15/2011

A gift of a day – warm, sunny and relatively easy.

  1. I wrote a note to an ex-boyfriend today apologizing for being cruel or mean to him after we broke up.  I’ve been taking stock of how I sometimes treated people in the past and I know I could have (and should have) been better to him.  Better late than never – I sent it today.  Writing the note  also gave me an excuse to use my fancy French notecards. Ooh-la-la!
  2. Rex has had a sock fetish for as long as he has been able to de-sock himself.  Today he took it to a new level: crawling while carrying the sock in his mouth. Like the dog.  It was so freaking cute that I immediately got a video of it and posted it on Facebook.  I have become that person.
  3. Finally made good on two promises!
  4. Spring is springing!  Spring training has begun, festival season is kicking off and I spy buds on the trees.
  5. Managed to get my library books back to the library on the day they were due.  I hate late fees.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 2/14/2011

Happy Valentine’s Day (or V-Day when you should do everything in your power not to get VD)!  Here’s what I loved today:

  1. Fabulous evening playing Mah Jongg.  I won three times in a row, including $2 on one hand!  I had a so much fun!
  2. AskMetafilter.  The collective mind of advice, thoughts, etc.  An amazing resource and so helpful.
  3. My mother showed me the pictures she took of Rex yesterday and they just squeezed my heart (in a good way).
  4. Valentine’s Day lunch with Mr. X.
  5. Got my house back in order.  If only for one day, it’s enough.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 2/13/2011

My favorite things today:

  1. Rex woke up in a fabulous mood this morning. He was literally singing.  I’m so thrilled that I was on duty this morning to experience it!
  2. My new capri tights from Target are as awesome as I had hoped.  Who knew joy could be purchased for $4?
  3. I get to set my alarm 30 minutes later tomorrow.
  4. Watching my dad make Rex belly laugh.
  5. Mr. X and I worked as a team this evening when Rex was having a meltdown.  It felt wonderful.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 2/12/2011

Catching up!

  1. Kept the Computer Sabbath and it was wonderful.  Well, not the first 12 hours, but after that, it was great.
  2. Ordered a kid’s meal for Rex at lunch.  We all fed ourselves lunch!
  3. Fabulous free dinner with adults!
  4. Got to sleep in until 8:20am. Thanks Mr. X!
  5. Temperatures forecast to be in the 70s all next week. Ahhhh.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 2/11/2011

Posting early because I am going to attempt a Computer Sabbath tonight through tomorrow.  Haven’t done one of these in a while, but it is needed.

  1. Warmer weather. Glorious and so much more appropriate here.
  2. Waking up Rex this morning and listening to him snuffling while he decided if he wanted to wake up. So. Freaking. Cute.
  3. Daily Hope from Postpartum Progress.  It is a fabulous little gem delivered to my email everyday.
  4. Capri tights. Deeply on sale at Target.  May then be as fabulous as I imagine them to be.
  5. Planning how to spend my birthday money.  I think that might be even more fun than actually spending it.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 2/10/2011

Here’s what blew my skirt up today:

  1. Watching Rex eat scrambled eggs at daycare, including the part where he licked the plate.  I do not think we’ll have a picky eater on our hands.
  2. Brought a lot of joy to a lot of people with a small and easy act.  Just wonderful.
  3. Catching up on my favorite shows on DVR.  One of the greatest inventions of the modern era.
  4. Lunch with an old friend from college who was in town.
  5. Teaching Rex how to give kisses. He’s still at the sloppy kiss stage, but he was laughing so it can’t be all bad.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Only the Lonely?

Rex, as I’ve written before, is fairly likely to be an only child, barring laughable flukes of birth control pill failure and steroided sperm.  I find this greatly relieving because I do not want under any circumstance to voluntarily go through postpartum depression again.  I also really don’t want to go through the newborn to about 9 month old phase either.  Been there, done that, got the spit up on my t-shirt.  And, I am just now getting my career back on track, although I’m not back to the level of compensation that I was at before.  Having another child will really throw a wrench into the now nicely balanced ride.

But, is it fair? I mean is it fair to Rex to withhold a sibling from him, someone who might be his best friend or playmate?  Is it fair to make him make that extra effort to find and make friends because he doesn’t have the built in playmate at home? Is it fair to put my needs ahead of his in this area?

By me'nthedogs via Creative Commons

I’m honestly torn.  The Insidious Mommy Guilt Monster is dragging me down into her den to have her way with me and making me write on the chalkboard 1 million times “I will always put my child’s needs ahead of my own.”  On the other hand, the Shining Lady of Mommy Must Be Happy is saying, “no problem, the kid will be fine, go get a mani-pedi and join a book club!”

I  take a little comfort in the fact that I too was an only child and except for my fundamental inability to share (“MINE!”), I turned out ok.  I can function in society, make friends, blah, blah, blah.  The thing is that my main memories of childhood are that it was lonely.  Depressingly lonely.   I so wanted additional family around (but not siblings, Dear Lord No Siblings!) who I didn’t have to worry about constantly trying to remain friends with or who I could just hang out with and be myself.  This isn’t to say that I didn’t have friends growing up because I did.  But the supreme effort that was involved in finding, cultivating and maintaining friendships was just exhausting.  Was it like that for all kids or was I just weird?

I’m terrified that Rex will be lonely like I was growing up.  I know, deep down, that he is not me and I am not him and that he has a lot more family near him than I ever did growing up.  One set of grandparents is a mile away 6 months out of the year, and the other set is a mere 2.5 hours away.  His cousin, who is 2.5 months younger than he is, is 3 hours away.  He has so many honorary aunties and uncles in town that it’s an embarrassment of riches.  And, most importantly, he interacts with other kids pretty much five days a week.

But, and there’s always a but, what if he is missing out on this magical amazing sibling experience because of me?  I’ve heard from many other people that having siblings isn’t a guarantee to having a built-in friend nor do they necessarily make life easier or smoother.  The problem is that I have no experience in this arena so I can’t be a good judge.

I can judge that it would be a terrible mistake for us to have another child right now and probably ever.  I know that when Rex is older and asks why he doesn’t have a brother or sister, I will have no guilt telling him that it was because we got it so right the first time we couldn’t possibly have done better than him.  I know that I will do my absolute best to make sure that he has lots of opportunities to be with friends and family so that he doesn’t have the loneliness that I did growing up.  For now, that’s going to have to be my best.