History, Herstory

I went to college in the deep, deep South of New Orleans as in if you went any further South, you would be in the Gulf of Mexico. Well, you had to still drive a ways, but that was more a function of the shitty roads down there than distance.   I moved there at age 18 years and six months to embark on my illustrious collegiate career after living for 14 years in the uptight, frigid (temperature and otherwise) and all around wretched mid-Atlantic.

By Sidereal via Flickr Creative Commons

In choosing Tulane, that illustrious alma mater of such luminaries as Jerry Springer, Newt Gingrich and Amy Carter, I yearned for the following: a) warm weather; b) warm weather and c) warm weather. It was indeed warm – saunas were cooler – and I was Dorothy in Oz having been deposited there at my wish by the good folks at US Airways. The same bastards who lost my luggage.  I flew Aeroflot to Moscow in 1992 and they didn’t lose my luggage.  There was duct tape on the wings of that lovely little Aeroflot jet and an engineer looking at parts of the engine quizzically, but they still managed to handle the bags.  How on earth did US Airways manage to do it on a domestic direct flight, the flight that took me to college? Almost 18 years later this still annoys me no end.

It was at Tulane during my sophomore year that I also came to know  an honest to Gawd Cajun Boy.   He had the accent, the cooking skills and the dance moves. He was so exotic to me being from the frigid uptight Northeast, yet by Louisiana standards, he was pretty normal.  Provocateur that I was, I let slip very early in our conversation that I was an atheist and he, being the Good Catholic that he was, reacted as if being hit with holy water.  I think he called me a heathen which made me laugh and just flustered him even more.  I was immediately smitten and I knew that he was interested too.    We got to know each other, he managed to look past the atheist thing and we sort of started to date, although it was more me chasing after him and him playing hard to get.  I knew deep down that we were never going to be together in the normal, boy/girl way because he had issues and I didn’t have the patience to deal with it.  But, the time I spent with him was some of my happiest in college.  After graduation, we kept in touch, but I was still harboring feelings for him and he had even more issues at that point, so I let him go.

I also let him go because I was embarrassed at how I had treated him sometimes in those days.  I see now that I was a very normal, typical 20-something who was still a little stunted socially and had trouble navigating the muddy waters of being friends with other people.  I never did anything cruel, but I wasn’t what I now consider to be a good friend.  So, I continued to feel badly about how I thought I had treated him.

We reconnected last year on Facebook and I had the opportunity several months ago to finally apologize for how I had treated him.  I didn’t know if he would respond, or if he did, what he would say and to be honest, I didn’t really care.  It was more important at that point to tell him.  He did respond, and rather than accept my apology, he gave one of his own for what he claimed was leading me on all of those years.  I just had to smile at this.  It was such a good reminder that what we consider to be a fault or problem is usually not even noticed by others.  Here I had spent several years not wanting to contact him because I felt badly about how I had treated him and he had spent that time thinking that he had led me on in college.

I thanked him for his apology while making sure that he understood that it was completely unnecessary because I knew that he was like that from the beginning and I accepted it.  I also told him that I knew he was hard to get and I eventually became happy just to be with him as a friend rather than anything more because I just enjoyed his company (oh, and did I mention that the boy could cook?).   I didn’t hear anything further from him, but I had to hope that his heart had been lightened a little just as mine had.

Has telling the truth brought you similar experiences? Please share.

Well Hello There!

A thousand apologies for the radio silence these past two days.  I could tell you it was because I had a litany of boring, but exceedingly pesky bodily ailments including Pink Eye and stomach trouble plus sinus issues meaning I just really didn’t feel like thinking or, by extension blogging.  I could tell you that. But, it wouldn’t be entirely true.  (although the pink eye/stomach ailment/sinus part is true. )

The truth is that while I could easily think of five good things each day, I couldn’t think of five good new things that you, dear Reader, had never seen before.  I’m never going to be the Gawker of Grace in Small Things, constantly breaking new and amazing things on here because frankly, my life – wonderful as it is – is pretty boring day-to-day when viewed in a Top 5 kind of way.  I was getting kind of bored of repeating pretty much the same ones each day.

So what does this mean? It means that I’m going to condense my GIST posts from one a day to maybe one a week. I will still mentally practice it daily, as I had been doing before, but I will only share the really awesome moments with you fine people. This also frees up my blogging mojo for other posts that are pinging around my head but must wait behind the daily 5 slog.

Onwards and upwards, always.


Grace in Small Things 3/21/2011

Sorry to have skipped last night. It was the Big Love finale, I was tired from hosting guests over the weekend and I just wasn’t in the mood.  But, I’m back!

  1. I could not stop giving Rex kisses tonight while he was having his evening bottle.  Maybe it was because he snuggled under my chin or maybe it was because I just love to hold him, feel his solid (and I mean solid) weight in my arms and listen to him contentedly drink away on his bottle.  I love this child more than I could have ever thought possible.
  2. I think I made someone’s day today.  That makes me incredibly happy.
  3. Looking forward to my mom coming over for dinner tomorrow night.  It’ll be just the two of us since Mr. X is out of town and my dad is taking a brief trip overseas.  We’ll have a good time.
  4. Mr. X is out of town, but told me this evening that he loved listening to my voice.  What a wonderful guy!
  5. I realized today how happy I am. There’s nothing really left to say.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 3/19/2011

Rex’s birthday party day!

  1. I can’t decide what was more hysterical about Rex’s birthday party: the dog drinking my margarita out of the glass or the fact that Rex had two green poops within 15 minutes of each other.  But, everyone had a good time, had good margaritas and enjoyed themselves and the kid took in a major HAUL.  Lots and lots of toys!
  2. Doorbell, gate and towel bar in the bathroom have been fixed thanks to my father-in-law.  All hail handy people!
  3. Rex’s birthday cake was super yummy. Tomorrow we might even give him some.
  4. Had a lovely lunch with Mr. X and Rex during which not one but two grandmas came up to praise Rex for his adorable good looks and blonde curls.  They could not keep their granny hands off of him!
  5. Rex is feeling soooooooooo much better than he was yesterday.  Happy Rex makes for happy parents.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 3/18/2011

Day started with a semi-panicked yell from Mr. X in the garage as he was getting ready to take Rex to school that Rexfelt “a little warm”.  Ended with a diagnosis of yet another ear infection and a cranky Rex. Bless his little heart.

  1. Everyone loved the pictures I took of Rex with his green cupcake.  I should have gotten a shot of the green icing that was still up his nose this morning, though.  That was just classic.
  2. Despite having an ear infection, Rex was in a fabulous mood at the doctor’s office.  He serenaded the pediatrician and charmed the office manager to the point that she declared that he was an “angel”.  Yes, I made that!
  3. I had one of those perfect moments this evening.  It was dusk and quiet in the house as Rex was already in bed and Mr. X was on his computer.  I had seen our house in this light so many times over the years, but never before had I seen it knowing that our house was full.  My heart felt full too.
  4. Rex’s grandparents are coming in to town tomorrow for Rex’s birthday party.  I can’t wait to see their joy at seeing Rex and how much he’s grown in the whopping month since they last saw him.  Bonus: margaritas for the adults!
  5. Bought myself some gorgeous handmade jewelry from my best friend.  A total win win.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Happy Birthday, Baby!

St. Patrick’s Day in years past was either celebrated mildly or not at all in my household, despite our Irish heritage.  It just wasn’t that big of a deal.  We might have worn some green, drank some green beer and that would have been about it.

No more.

St. Patrick’s Day now is and will always be for me a momentous day because it is the day that Rex entered the world.  It will always be first and foremost his birthday and then St. Patrick’s Day.  It will be a day of raucous celebration or at least a lot of green icing and shamrocks.  It will be the day that we serenade our little shamrock with the obligatory song and dress him in green.  It will be the day that I will be so amazed that we finally reached.


First Cupcake

Green Hands

Green Beard

The Aftermath

Grace in Small Things 3/16/2011

Rex Birthday-Eve! This time last year I was really, really ready to be able to breathe normally again without something stuck under my ribs.

  1. Absolutely gorgeous sunny springy-summery day.  I celebrated by returning the plants that I purchased yesterday since Mr. X determined that they were not in fact the same species of plant we were planting.  They looked ridiculously alike, so I feel no guilt for getting them mixed up.  But, Lowe’s – take note – everyone’s life would be much easier if you would let me return plants in the Garden Department.
  2. Rex is experimenting with attempting to stand on his own.  Last night this manifested itself with him sitting on the ledge of our back porch and scooting his bottom toward the edge ever so slightly before taking the plunge into the grassy deep.  Mr. X reported this morning as he was attempting to dress Rex for school Rex insisted on wanting to stand up for the procedure, thus making an already difficult job that much harder. But, it was good practice for both of them. And, it was great for me since I got to stay in bed!
  3. I’ve started reading The Emotional Life of Toddlers and it is absolutely fascinating.  Rex is on the cusp of this world and I need lots of guidance on getting all of us through it the right way.
  4. Ken Rudin, the Political Junkie on NPR.  He reminds me of why I was a political science major in college.  I just love listening to him.  Or, maybe its that they always have the Dean Scream at the beginning of the show that cracks me up every time I hear it.
  5. I am so, so proud of myself for making it through Rex’s first year.  His birthday celebration is my celebration for making it through PPD and coming out on the other side.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 3/15/2011

  1. Mah Jongg last night was fabulous.  Despite having been out of practice for several weeks, I managed to win two games much to the consternation of my fellow players.  It was also a lovely evening of wine, catching up and evening breezes from the open windows.
  2. I scored a free $15 iTunes gift card just by getting ink toner that I already needed.  I’m thinking of using it on the new Adele album.
  3. My mother has returned from Back East bearing gifts (in our family known as “sussies”) of a crab onesie for Rex (OMG, SO CUTE) and awesome chocolate cookies for the adults.  She graciously pointed out that she and my father limited our ability to over indulge by leaving us just two cookies.  Isn’t she nice?
  4. Got a question on FB from an old high school friend who with his wife will be welcoming their first child in May.  He wanted to know what kinds of restrictions we placed on people having access to Rex those first few weeks home, i.e. who could touch him, etc.  I was frank with him and explained that at the time, I had a raging case of PPD and practically begged other people to hold my baby, and regardless of who held him, he ended up getting his first illness at daycare, so their mileage may vary.  I told him about my PPD because I wanted him to know, subconsciously, that if his wife has the supreme misfortune to have PPD, I can help.   I really, really hope that she doesn’t.
  5. Looked at pictures of Rex when he was first born, almost one year ago, and I’m tickled at how much he has grown during that time.  It’s so hard to remember now when he was an infant and couldn’t even hold his head up when compared with the singing, squealing, whirling dervish of activity that he has become.   What will this next year have in store? I’m so excited to find out.

Onwards and upwards, always.

Grace in Small Things 3/14/2011

Happy Pi Day!

  1. Rex went down like a champ last night at his usual bed time despite the one hour difference in time.  He packed a lot of baby activities into the day so he was ready to go to the land of nod, at least for an evening.  He was still snoozing when Mr. X came in to get him to go to school.  Too soon I fear his little body will adjust and we’ll be back to 6:30am wake ups, but for now I will savor the trickery.
  2. Mr. X and are rather bereft that there is one episode of Big Love left forever.  We spent a not insignificant amount of time last night determining how the ends would be wrapped up considering that there are quite a few and not many of them are prone to a neat conclusion.  It’s been such an entertaining show!
  3. Mah Jongg returns this evening. Let’s hope I remember my strategy.  We’re playing a my friend’s house whose husband always watches his DVR’d shows while we play.  It’s kind of hard to concentrate on the tiles when there is a documentary about pot going on in the background.  It was particularly awkward when we were all silent contemplating our hands and the narrator, in a great deep-narrator voice said, “Pete lights the bong and takes a hit.”  Maybe he’ll watch something a little less distracting tonight.
  4. I managed to conquer my bad mood this morning that seemed to dictate me getting annoyed at very small things.  I think the Chick-Fil-A I had for lunch helped.
  5. I’m getting very excited for Rex’s birthday party on Saturday!  Both sets of grandparents, some family friends and a child digging his hands into a cupcake with green icing = a very good time.

Onwards and upwards, always.