If you had asked me before we had Rex whether or not having a child would give my life purpose, I would have answered with a resounding YES with multiple exclamation points. But, if you would have looked closer, the yes would have had a giant asterisk next to it and underneath, in small print, it would have read: “Note that above statement is based upon experiences of others and the author in fact has absolutely no clue whether or not this will be the case for her.”
Now that we’ve had the much awaited and longed for and wanted child, I feel more of a completeness than I have in quite a while. But, utter and total fulfillment? Nope. And I want you to know that this is ok. For you and for me.
But, it got me to thinking. What would make my life fulfilling because apparently, being a mom and a wife and a lawyer is not completely doing it. Which lead to the even more loaded question of, what is my life’s purpose? Perhaps due to the cosmos’ perverse sense of humor, it was exactly last week in fact that I spent the better part of four days meeting with many different people who all had found a very specific purpose for their life. While I didn’t share this particular purpose, I still was in awe of the fact that they had found something that they believed in and they dedicated their lives to it.
I know women who feel that way about mothering. I know women who feel that way about lawyering. I’m sure there are even who feel this way about being a wife. But, what would make me feel this way? What would make me go to the ends of the earth to know or do because it is my purpose in life? Unfortunately for you, dear Reader, I’m going to try to figure it out here.
In advance of this intense navel gazing, I give you a pass to skip this entire series of posts. Really, don’t thank me. Go find your own purpose. Better yet, tell me about it when you’re done. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.