Myth: The 1st Rule of Infertility Is You Don’t Talk About Infertility

I’ve given a lot of thought these past few days to what Infertility Myth I’d like to bust in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week and I have to say, the process was actually kind of, well, hard.  There are lots of fertility myths that justly deserve to get busted, but I couldn’t think of infertility myths.  That is until I thought about the exercise of blogging about infertility myths and the myth became perfectly clear:

Those who are infertile must never speak of their condition.

To that I say, the 1st rule of infertility is that you talk about infertility. The 2nd rule of infertility is you ABSOLUTELY talk about infertility.

How else are those who have never experienced the unique pain of infertility to really know what it’s like? How else are we going to be able to raise awareness?  How else are people going to be able to put a face to this disease?

Now I am not advocating that you share details of your husband’s sperm analysis with your mother-in-law or tell your aunt all about your cervical mucous.  But, do tell them that you are struggling to have a family and how hard it is sometimes to turn a natural process into a medical one. Share with them how heartbreaking it can be to receive constant pregnancy announcements or invitations to baby showers sometimes or how adept you’ve become at giving yourself injections for an upcoming IVF cycle.  The more people know about infertility and the people who are dealing with it, I firmly believe the more accepting the general public will be of the fact that infertility is an awful condition, and it deserves the same compassionate care as any other disease.

I am open these days with people about the measures and time it took us to have Rex.  I don’t tell people to get their sympathy or remind them of how fortunate they may have been in having an easy time having their children.  I tell them because it’s the truth and because it’s important for people to know that infertility is out there, it has a face and a story, and it’s not a shameful condition.  I am not ashamed of the fact that I had to have lots of help to have Rex or that he was conceived in a petri dish.  I am so thankful that I had the access to the resources that allowed us to bring him into this world.  And, I will shout it from the mountain tops.

Check out these resources from Resolve:

Infertility 101 and National Infertility Awareness Week

3 thoughts on “Myth: The 1st Rule of Infertility Is You Don’t Talk About Infertility

  1. Another myth: And just because you have a kid now doesn’t mean you were “cured”. Adopting a child healed my heart, but I am forever changed by infertility.

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