I had a realization today about the direction of my life. For quite a while, I have been riding the wave of other’s tides. Mr. X’s job moved us to Texas and then back to Louisiana. I’ve been doing the same job for Boss Man for 12 years. I’ve grown two little humans who still direct me constantly on where to go (sometimes at the same time, in different directions, natch). I was going along with the very heavy flow.
I did this in part because I had to. Mr. X’s job pays more than mine so it was kind of a no-brainer that it would dictate where we go. The little humans have so. many. needs. to. address. RIGHT NOW, it is wonder some days that I get out the door dressed. And, of course, Boss Man pays my salary, so I do what he asks.
But something is shifting. I finally gave myself permission to seek fulfillment outside (but not to the exclusion) of my job, marriage and kids. Last fall, I started stepping a toe out of the water. I signed up to be a CASA volunteer and went through four weeks of night classes. And now, I’m beginning the process of finding a new job or even a new career. But why stop there? I’m also thinking again about writing a silly chick lit novel.
Finally, I have some say in the direction of my life again and it feels really good.
(Hello, yes it’s been a while. Not much, how are you? Can we skip the promises that we’ll talk again soon? I make no guarantees.)