This title isn’t really indicative of this post, it’s just so damn witty that I really liked it and it will now be the new title. Deal.
But, to sort of justify it, I will actually write something about IVF, namely, I still really don’t feel like doing it yet. I just don’t feel the hurry that I did before. I think three years of go-go-go infertility treatment has finally caught up with me.
This has become more apparent when Mr. X and I have had several discussions over the past few days about scheduling an IVF, which have mostly focused on December/January.
There are a couple of problems with this plan.
1) Say I start the BCPs for an IVF cycle in December and then stim in late December through early January leading up to an egg retrieval and embryo transfer in late January. But – and there is always a but – I am scheduled to go to a conference in early February. I can’t miss this. However, if I get a BFP, I will probably feel as if it is repeat of last year’s episode while on travel. Only, this time I will be on business in addition to being away from home. I do not want to be traveling at that stage. I will already be stressed and remembering when I was pregnant and going to the airport bathroom every 15 minutes to see if the blood was gone will not be the best way to spend the day.
2) What about doing the pills in Jaunary and stimming in February? Same problem, except this time I would be travelling during stimming. And, it’s a five day conference. I seriously doubt that Dr. Salsa will agree to let me shoot up for five days without monitoring.
3) Even if I do manage to get all of this done, I would get pregnant in February. For the Third Time. And, then I will miscarry in March. For the Third Time. I will have a D&C in April. For the Third Time. See a pattern? So do I, which is why I’d like to get pregnant in a month other than February, if I can help it. It’s purely psychological, but we all have our little mental quirks.
Of course, there are problems waiting too – Mr. X’s travel schedule gets heavier and we do not want to use frozen specimens on a fresh IVF cycle if we can help it. Putting it off will also mean waiting for a late 2009 or even 2010 (Space Odyssey) baby.
I do know that being back in an RE’s office with the dildocam was jarring. And, I know right now, the last thing I want to be doing is sticking a 1.5 inch needle in my ass. Every night. I like being able to drink wine, have a Diet Coke and take a bath (I can even do all three at the same time!). I like not having to worry about weird bleeding and morbid outcomes. And, I particularly like being in control of what happens to my body.
All of this could be academic – if my Clomid Challenge comes back showing that my eggs are closer to 50 than I am, then, all bets may be off. Or, if I find out that my FSH is normal, then I may be inclined to try again. I just know that right now, I’m content to drink my wine and take my bath.