Despite having been pregnant twice, I can honestly say that I have never had a positive home pregnancy test. In fact, I think I’ve peed on a stick all of maybe six times in my life and each time the absence of the second line mocked me.
As of 9dp5dt, Brand X HPT refused to show that second line.
I’m doing surprisingly ok with this information as it confirms the lack of symptoms that I’ve had (boobs have been annoyingly calm and uninflated or sore) and likely spares me the chance of a D&C in April. It also resolves the angst which has been building since Monday. And, I have to admit that I’m a little bit relieved (although not like last time), which means that I was probably almost ready to really be pregnant again, but not quite.
I’m sure the anger and frustration will come eventually, but it hasn’t hit yet. Forewarned is forearmed.
Beta is on Friday (the 13th!), still leaving me the opportunity to suck down some booze this weekend whilst eating herbed brie and chugging a Diet Coke with lime.
I will ask one favor, though – please do not drop the S word (‘sorry’ or any version of ‘sympathy’). Instead, feel free to use other ‘s’ words (shit, suck, shitty shitty bang bang) and tell me what your favorite thing to do is after a failed IVF cycle. I’ve got a whole weekend coming up that will likely be filled with that three letter BFN combination, so I need some ideas!
image: tony newell